Before I get into sharing the early years with Harry, I have to say that I’m so proud of him. I never thought we’d be where we are today. Harry was born almost 6 weeks premature and weighed 5lb. Until he was 3 months, he looked like he still needed to grow into his skin. We used to call him Harry Sparrow. He was born without the sucking reflex and so I struggled to feed him and would express my milk and feed it to him through the tiniest of bottles. He would sick up most of the time and he would never settle after a feed even with lots of winding. I remember by the time I settled him at night, it would be time for his next feed. He would go rigid after each feed, I couldn’t put him down, he was never contented to lie on his play mat, he had to be upright and moving not sitting. The only place he seemed happy was in his baby bouncer, which he absolutely loved but according to the user guide there was a time limit. I remember wishing I could leave him in it all day. I felt a lot of pressure to do things right, but I didn’t really know what “right” was. It was so hard, I wasn’t enjoying motherhood and I felt guilty about that. He didn’t seem content in my arms, so I felt that he sensed my resentment and I began to blame myself. I felt like a failure as a mother. The health visitor said “all babies are sick, it’s normal.” The sleep deprivation began to take its toll, my body clock was all over the place and when Harry was about 6 months, I remember watching someone on BBC Breakfast talking about post-natal depression. A list of symptoms appeared on the screen and as I read it, I thought “that’s how I feel” so I went to the doctors who prescribed anti-depressants. I started to feel a bit calmer but still not right. When I began weaning, Harry ended up in hospital with blood in his nappy. His nappies were generally awful anyway, never hard stools always soft and very smelly. He was eventually diagnosed with reflux. I felt a huge relief but frustrated and disappointed it wasn’t picked up earlier. As he got older, I remember being with our NCT mums and their children and they would all play together and Harry would always go in the opposite direction. I’d try to encourage him back to where the other kids were, but he’d turn around and run off again. He tried to escape from the library sing along group, he’d try and climb over the gate in the playground. I used to call him Harry Houdini because he was always trying to escape and run in the opposite direction. He would take little notice of other kids around him. We began to withdraw from social meet ups. In the car, he would scream if I didn’t put on the CD he wanted. REPEAT REPEAT REPEAT, AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN and if I put something else on, he would absolutely lose it and scream constantly. Sometimes, he would say “I want to go that way” if I turned right in the car because he was expecting me to go straight on it would set him off screaming. If he woke up somewhere he wasn’t expecting he would scream. It was awful. I felt so on edge all the time. Music has always been his passion. At 18 months old, I found him in the lounge raving to the Chemical Brothers. I’ve always said he was born in the wrong era! I remember walking into a local shop, Harry was in his push chair and he said “black eyed peas” and sure enough the black-eyed peas were playing on the radio. Both the shop assistant and I stood there in disbelief looking at each other. He was about 2 years old. At 3 he started nursery. I was relieved to have someone else look after him for a few hours a few times a week to be honest, I’m not sure they felt the same. They struggled to get him to join in. Harry would hunt out the one book on the bookshelf that had a CD tucked in the back cover and demand that it be played. The nursery assistant would say “we can do that at 11 o’clock Harry” and so he would sit and look at the clock until 11am and wouldn’t engage in anything else. One day the SENCO at Nursery called me in and said “how do you feel Harry is progressing?” I burst into tears. Looking back, I wish I had been that mum who knew exactly what was going on and had said, yes my son is Autistic and I’m proud of it. But I didn’t understand what was going on. I thought it was my fault, my failure as a mother. Obviously, I now realise that’s just not true. Harry was born Autistic. It was nothing to do with me as a mother. The nursery staff suggested that we ask a health visitor to observe him in the nursery setting. I agreed and I remember the health visitor saying “well, I don’t think he is but I’m going to refer him anyway just in case.” We had a few appointments with a Paediatrician and because my cousin works with autistic children, she suggested we request an ADOS assessment, we did, he got one and was diagnosed on the spot. My husband and I were in shock! We expected them to say “he’s borderline” but there was no doubt, Harry was diagnosed with Autistic Spectrum Disorder or ASD which I now like to call it Amazing Special Different. The Doctor said for our own research purposes we should look up Aspergers Syndrome, which is on the high functioning end of the autistic spectrum, but there was nothing else they could do. They gave us a leaflet for the National Autistic Society and some courses for parents of newly diagnosed children. I remember my husband going straight back to work when we got home, he just didn’t want to deal with it. I sat and cried and wondered what his future was going to be like. I felt scared for him, what did this mean? would he be able to be independent? would he always need us? what would happen when we weren’t here anymore, who would look after him? All sorts of fears and questions I had no answers to. We signed up to the Early Bird course, through the National Autistic Society, for parents of preschool newly diagnosed ASD children. We were lucky to get on the course as it was over-subscribed. Attending the course really opened our eyes. Other parents were having a much harder time than us, some parents were still in denial even after receiving a diagnosis and some parents just seemed completely overwhelmed. We took on board some of the strategies that worked but at the end of the course I realised that I was going to have to continue researching if I was going to give Harry the best possible opportunity to thrive. So that’s what I did. I began my journey reading book after book, researching online, taking it all in and considering our options. The first book I read, which I would recommend to any parents whose child is on the Aspergers end of the Autistic Spectrum, was The Complete Guide to Aspergers Syndrome by Tony Attwood. This book really helped me to understand what Harry was experiencing and explained some of the behaviours we found difficult to deal with. It helped me to understand him better and I became more understanding of him and more empathic. I then discovered I had a passion for it. I loved learning about it and just kept reading and reading. Then found a book that would change things forever. If I could remember the name of it, I’d share it but it’s on my old Kindle which is now broken and I’m not sure how to extract it. The book was about the impact that non cooked diary and gluten has on the brain. It was written by a mum of an autistic boy and how she had helped her son's autism. So, I decided to give it a try. I started replacing cow’s milk with diary alternatives such as almond milk and soya milk and replaced pasta and pizza with gluten free options. Within weeks Harry’s Stagecoach teacher said “what have you done? He’s like a different child.” Stagecoach has been a great source of social interaction for Harry. He's always loved the stage, singing and dancing and acting. He's very determined to be an actor, TV presenter, Author when he's older. After we reduced gluten and non-cooked diary, we started to notice that he was no longer hand flapping or staring at things that spun and zoning out as much. His guts were better, less diarrhoea, less tummy pain (which I remember were particularly bad after eating crumpets). There were obvious improvements in his sensory processing. Things like hand dryers were suddenly ok and he wasn’t so bothered by the temperature of the bath (couldn’t ever get him in the shower). He didn’t mind having his hair cut, which had always been very stressful. The change was incredible! Now I really notice a difference in his sensory processing, behaviour and gut if he has too much gluten or uncooked diary, so we limit it as much as possible. There are also certain colours that impact his behaviour, so we keep an eye on that too. I'm not saying that Autism can be cured. Far from it! Autism is a neurological developmental condition but if there are interventions that relieve the often very challenging behaviours associated with Autism, why wouldn't you try them? If you'd like to discuss this in more details or you would like help with tailoring a meal plan, contact me via www.asdparentcoach.co.uk/contact or E: help@asdparentcoach.co.uk